Sarah Jessica Parker poses with her adorable twin daughters for Vogue

She is usually fiercely protective of her privacy.

But Sarah Jessica Parker provided a rare sneak peek into her domestic life she posed for a new editorial spread alongside her family for America's Vogue magazine.

The 46-year-old actress looked elegant and demure as she watched over her two-year-old twin daughters, Marion and Tabitha, in one beautiful shot from the pictorial.

The twins, who were born in 2009 via a surrogate, look suitably adorable in baby doll dresses and Mary-Jane shoes as they play in a chaotic, but still oh so stylish, kitchen.

In another frame, she covers her ears while her son James, 8, plays Rock Band with his friends and even recruits her husband Matthew Broderick for a sophisticated black and white portrait.

Still, she insists she isn't always thrilled by the attention her family attracts and admits that she's considered leaving New York for a quieter life.

'You do start to understand the behind-the-gate mentality, the getting in the car in your driveway, but I can’t imagine living in seclusion.'

'We flirted with it. We went outside the city and troubled all these realtors and stood in these homes and fantasized, and then I kept picturing nine o’clock at night and' she trailed off miming a yawning expression and rolling her eyes.'

'The beautiful thing about New York is, you have to expose yourself to other people the minute you step outside the door. There is no choice. And I love that.'

However she admits that becoming a parent has limited the amount of things she can do.

'If I didn’t have kids,' she said, 'I would be at the theatre or the ballet every single night of my life.'

For Sarah's new role she portrays Kate Reddy, a financial executive who struggles to balance her heavy workload with the needs of her family, in I Don't Know How She Does It, an adaptation of Allison Pearson's 2002 best-selling novel.

'I loved the part, and I can obviously relate to Kate,' says Parker.

'I tried to make myself look more presentable today but the odds of not being, when I leave the house in the morning, are pretty high.'

But obviously her most notable role is that of Carrie Bradshaw - the role which made her a star.

'Bradshaw’s life is nothing - nothing - like mine,' she says.

'I loved playing her, and it changed my life in lots of wonderful ways, but I’m not a crazy shoe lady, I don’t think about fashion all day long, although I have a great respect for the industry. Every choice we’ve made has been different, but with Kate I really understood the attempt at a life.'

Yet despite her life in the spotlight and 35-year career, Sarah admits she still gets nervous about the job that she does.

'I lose my appetite,' she admitted.

'By Wednesday of the first week on I Don’t Know How She Does It, I was sobbing, I was apologizing. I was feeling so awful and ashamed, like I had let the director down. If only they would not tell me when the camera was running, I would be OK. I’m like that two weeks into every movie.'

'But the beauty of nerves is that you can always find a comrade in it. When Pierce (Brosnan) came he was a nervous wreck! Of course, by then I was really relaxed, but I was so comforted by it.'

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Katie Holmes with daughter Suri Cruise who must have been shivering in her sleeveless white dress as they shopped in New York in November

Her daughter is one of the most photographed people, let alone children, on the planet.

So on occasion, it is inevitable that the cameras are going to witness Suri Cruise doing, or wearing, something that causes other parents to raise an eyebrow - from the now-infamous 'penis' sweets the five-year-old unknowingly selected in a store, to her penchant for heels.

And now Katie Holmes has explained the story behind the much-criticised pictures of Suri out in New York in freezing winter temperatures without a coat.

Speaking to InStyle US magazine, the 32-year-old admits to being embarrassed about the pictures.

She tells the magazine: 'Recently, Suri and I were taking a walk and a fight got started because it was cold outside and she didn't want to wear her coat.

'My philosophy is, well, fine, because after a block of walking you're going to ask me for your coat.

'So the pictures of her [without a coat in cold weather] are sort of embarrassing, but I said, "Suri, I'll take the hit. Just put it on when you get cold".'

Katie insists she doesn't feel pressure to give Suri a little brother or sister. 'We already have a very big family; a full household with cousins who are over a lot,' she says. 'My biggest thing is making sure she's fully taken care of and doing well.'

The Mad Money star reveals how the family unit deals with their hectic schedules: 'We Skype, and we try not to go for a week without seeing each other,' Katie tells the magazine.

'We're also very good at setting up camp wherever we go.'

And Katie and Tom also find time for romance, though the actress says it's of a 'manly' style.

'Two years ago he took me up on his P-51 Mustang, a fighter plane from World War II. He painted the words, "Kiss Me, Kate" on the side,' she recalls.

'It feels like you're on a bike in the sky. I thought, I'm either going to spend this whole flight totally freaked out or realise this is pretty thrilling.'

Katie has been in Cancun, Mexico, this week promoting her upcoming Adam Sandler comedy Jack and Jill.

She has revealed a lengthy list of other actresses she looks up to. 'I love Renée (Zellweger), she can do no wrong in my eyes,' she says.

'I relate to every character she embodies, because she has no pretence.

'I also love Amy Adams. She's so kind and talented, and whenever I watch her I think, "I want to be her friend" - I've seen Enchanted many times with my daughter.

'Meryl Streep, of course. And I love what Cate Blanchett brings to every movie she does.'

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Make-up free Ashley Olsen is unrecognisable in casual jeans and a shirt as she shares a smoke break with mystery man

She is best known for her quirky ensembles that have often been dubbed as 'Granny chic.'

But today Ashley Olsen was unrecognisable as she shared a cigarette with an unknown male companion at the Sant Ambroeus cafe in New York.

The make-up free mini mogul sported very tanned skin, and low and behold, a casual pair of jeans and simple pale pink shirt.

While Ashley had that familiar Olsen 'just rolled out of bed look', the 25-year-old could have easily passed as an American college student in the preppy attire.

Puffing away during her smoke break, Ashley seemed disinterested in the conversation she was having with her older companion.

The pair had just finished an early dinner at the popular cafe.

While the Olsen twins are rarely seen in tight or revealing clothing, they are known for preferring a more bohemian style off-duty, and quirky, fashion-forward outfits on the red carpet.

And Ashley choice of outfit today was a far cry from the twins taste in fashion that is lately becoming more and more bizarre with each passing day.

Last week Mary-Kate was pictured taking her dog for a walk in an Amish-inspired white shirt and navy blue circle skirt.

And last month, Ashley was seen near her New York home wearing what appeared to be a blue nightgown more suited to a grandmother paired with elasticised flat shoes.

But Ashley and Mary-Kate's own sartorial choices are not affecting the success of their fashion lines The Row and Elizabeth and James.

And the twins have now launched a new, members-only fashion site, StyleMint.com.

Mary-Kate told WWD of the site: ''With StyleMint.com, Ashley and I have created an online experience reflecting our love of style and allowing us to engage with our customers directly, which is an inspiring new way for us to think and create as designers.'

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Gyllenhaal became addicted while training for Prince of Persia while Montag exercised for up to 14 hours a day before the MGM Grand pool party last month

We all know that exercising is a vital part of staying healthy.

But, even when it comes to fitness, anything in excess can be damaging.

A worrying new trend points to some Americans over-exercising, in what is known as ‘extreme exercising’.

High-profile addicts include Hollywood actor, Jake Gyllenhaal, and reality TV star, Heidi Montag.

Gyllenhaal, who completely transformed his body for the buff title role in Prince of Persia, admitted in March that he became addicted to exercise after working out for the blockbuster movie.

In an interview with Men’s Journal, the ‘cardio monster’ said he even suffered shin splints and has ‘had to teach [him]self to slow down a bit.’

Montag has replaced an apparent addiction to plastic surgery with a hours at the gym. Following drastic facial augmentation in 2009 - in which she underwent 10 dangerous procedures in a single day - Heidi Montag told ABC News in an interview last year that she ‘almost risked everything, all my relationships and myself, for vanity.’

Whether or not driven by the same urge, the fake-breasted celeb reportedly worked out for up to 14 hours a day before the MGM Grand's Wet Republic VIP pool party in Las Vegas last month.

Her dedication to the gym has raised alarm with experts.

Fitness expert, Michael Shaw, owner of New York Personal Training, told MailOnline, 'Like anything in the extreme, extreme exercise is a problem.'

'The most obvious danger is injury, overusing and overloading joints. The body's not meant to withstand that type of training.'

He says that the central nervous system can be affected, causing sleeplessness, while problems can also arise from 'the body not being fuelled right.'

Perhaps most worrying is his observation that extreme exercisers 'tend to have an unrealistic view of what the body is', suffering from body dismorphia.

Extreme exercise can lead to anorexia athletica, when working out becomes compulsive.

Shaw recommends that his clients do not work out for more than 45 minutes to an hour at any one time.

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services recommends just 2 and a half hours of moderate aerobic activity a week for adults, while the American College of Sports Medicine recommends doing moderately intense cardio 30 minutes a day, five days a week, or vigorously intense cardio 20 minutes a day, three days a week.

Both Gyllenhaal and Montag's work-out routines far exceed the recommendations – and it's not limited to celebrities, either.

In an interview with Good Morning America, extreme exerciser Brooke Mora described how a bad break-up lead to a fitness compulsion.

Forgetting the balanced lifestyle mantra, 'everything in moderation', the 31 year old works out for up to 30 hours a week, fitting training in before and after work and on her lunchbreak. 

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Sandra Bullock's ex Jesse James and Kat Von D to televise their relationship

Their romance is already playing out in the press, and now Jesse James and Kat Von D are preparing to televise it.

There has been plenty of speculation as to whether Sandra Bullock's fame hungry ex-husband would appear on the fifth series of Von D's L.A. Ink

And now with the season premiere approaching at the end of this month, it's been confirmed that the tattoo artist, 29 , will mine her new relationship for entertainment value.

The highlight will be the moment she becomes engaged to her 'soulmate' James, 42 , in all it's emotionally staged glory.

She also discusses the strain that James living in Austin, near Bullock and her 18-month-old adopted son Louis, puts upon their union.

'[It's] a long distance relationship, but we're just making it work,' Hollywood-based Von D says in an upcoming episode.

She also dismisses rumours on the show that she was pregnant and that she intends to move to Texas.

And she has a message for cynics, who doubt the joy of dating a confirmed love rat by insisting in show preview: 'I feel like I'm the luckiest girl. I don't care what anyone thinks.'

James moved from Southern California to Austin, Texas in the wake of the divorce in the hope of keeping his children, who were close to Sandra Louis, in touch with their family.

And other two months ago, It appeared that the distance had driven a wedge between James and Von D, with both venting their feelings on Twitter amid claims they had called off the wedding.

But James told People.com they are now planning to marry in the summer to mark the year anniversary of their relationship.

'That is absolutely not true,' the 42-year-old said in response to reports he had broken up with Kat.

'We're still going strong. Things are completely good with us.'

'Everything is on track. I am absolutely more in love today than I was a year ago. She's the one for me'

Von D also weighed in, saying off the split claims: 'That's the furthest thing from the truth.'

It is now five months since The Monster Garage star and tattoo artist fiancée Kat announced their engagement.

The couple began dating in August 2010, just two months after his divorce from Sandra Bullock was finalised.

Bullock and James married in 2005 but split abruptly five years later after news emerged that he had cheated on the Oscar winner with several women, most notably tattoo model and Nazi sympathiser, Michelle 'Bombshell' McGee.

Heavily tattooed Von D seemed much more James' type than the glamorous Blind Side star and the pair announced they were engaged last January.

The new series of L.A. Ink premieres on July 28 at 10 pm ET. 

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Giuliana and Bill Rancic, pictured on holiday in Italy, have decided to put their plans to conceive a baby on hold and have some fun this year

After two rounds of failed IVF treatment, Giuliana Rancic and her husband Bill have decided to take a year off from worrying about their baby woes.

The couple, who have just premièred the new season of their reality show, Giuliana & Bill, decided to spend a whole year just having fun and taking the focus off their desire to have a family.

'This upcoming season will be about the year of fun,' Giuliana explained to Celebuzz.

'Bill and I go back to the basics and rediscover our love.'

She says their struggle to have a child will not feature in the new series.

'Probably only 5-10 percent of this season is devoted to any baby talk,' she revealed.

'It’s always there and in the back of our minds, but it’s not like it use to be when it was a daily thing we would talk about…'

The E! News host has received a lot of criticism for her tiny frame with many blaming this for her infertility.

But that is not the case, claims the reality star.

'I eat whatever I want. I never starve myself,' Giuliana explained.

'I eat five times a day - if not more. I work out every day and bust my butt to stay in shape, which can be six to seven days a week.'

The last season of the show chronicled the couples attempts at getting pregnant following their wedding in 2007.

The couple have been trying to conceive since approximately the beginning of 2009.

After doctors recommended that she gain some weight in order to increase the chances of pregnancy, Giuliana changed her eating habits and in February 2010, she stated that she had gained five pounds, and was working on gaining more weight.

The couple began in vitro fertilization in March 2010, and got pregnant in the spring of 2010, however Giuliana suffered a miscarriage at eight weeks.

She then had an IVF transfer for a second time in November 2010, however the procedure did not result in a pregnancy and this spurned the couple on to put the process to one side for a while. 

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Miranda Kerr, pictured in Beverly Hills yesterday, named her son after her late boyfriend

Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr has revealed that named her seven-month-old son after her late boyfriend.

Baby Flynn Christopher was in part named after the model's childhood sweetheart, Christopher Middlebrook, who died in a tragic car accident when he was just a teenager.

Speaking to Australia's Daily Telegraph, the 28-year-old said: 'After he died, I wrote him a letter that said I hoped to name my first child after him in some way.'

'I told Orlando and he was the one who said he'd be happy to do that.'

Kerr then praised Bloom for being a 'good guy'.

The Victoria's Secret model had previously recalled her heartache in her book, Treasure Yourself, which was released earlier this year.

She wrote: 'We had been dating for two years, and I had just left Gunnedah [a remote town New South Wales, Australia] and moved to Brisbane when he was killed instantly in a car accident and all of a sudden it felt as though my world had fallen apart.

'Although we were only young, we had both talked about spending the rest of our lives together. I felt as if my heart had been ripped from my chest and I didn’t know what to do.'

'Chris’ death taught me that the people who touch your life are always with you.

'It taught me that I have the choice to be grateful for the time I had with him instead of dwelling on losing him.'

Kerr is still in touch with Middlebrook’s family.

The Victoria's Secret model married Bloom in July last year after three years together. Their first child was born on January 6, 2011. 

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'I never wanted people to notice me': How shy mother-of-five transformed herself into bikini-wearing bodybuilder at age of 53

After five children, most women would be terrified by the prospect of wearing a bikini. But for Debra Berney it was the best way to show off a year's hard work preparing for the NCP BWI Body Building Figure Competition.

But flaunting her gym-honed body in public is a new concept for the 53-year-old, from Baltimore, Maryland, as until recently she had always shied away from any kind of form-fitting clothing.

Though she had never been particularly heavy, Mrs Berney revealed today how she had always been self-conscious about her body.

She told AOL's Marlo Thomas: 'From high school on, I was just never comfortable with my body. There was always that extra 15lb. So I never dressed flashy. I'd wear full skirts, nothing form-fitting. I probably made myself look worse. I guess I didn't want people to notice me.'

She said she had always enjoyed being involved in high school stage shows as a teen, though her insecurity held her back from stepping into lead roles.

'I was a skinny kid, but when I hit puberty, it was like adding water to a sponge,' she recalled. 'I was very self-conscious about my appearance, but on stage, I could be whoever I wanted to be.'

Though she went on to be a successful speech pathologist, it was not until she hit her mid-forties, after five children, that Mrs Berney decided that she needed to change her life, beginning with a new career in wellness.

She explained: 'I wasn't completely sure what I wanted to do, but I made a conscious choice that I was going to go from pathology to wellness.

'But I felt guilty. With five kids – three of them in college – bringing yet another tuition into the picture and taking time away from my husband seemed like a lot to ask.'

Inspired by her masters course, she also began working out in the university gym three times a week.

'I wanted, at least once in my life, to be in really good shape - at my very best,' she said.

It was there that she found her new vocation. She explained: 'I saw these young students who were trainers and I thought, I'm a good motivator and there are lots of older graduate students and faculty members who are dealing with the same issues I've dealt with. Why can't I do this?'

She went on to join their ranks, positioning herself as a personal coach for women like herself. From there, she began bodybuilding, inspired by her fellow trainers who all entered competitions.

'When I'd look around the training center and see other trainers preparing people for competitions, I'd think, "This is the next step – this is my next goal."'

As pictures from the NCP BWI Body Building Figure Competition reveal, Mrs Berney more than held her own against women up to three decades younger.

'Age does not have to be a limitation,' she explained. 'You can start a whole new path whenever you want. Yes, I absolutely put myself outside of my comfort zone – and guess what? I survived.

'That's what I want other women to know. You'll do more than just survive. You'll live the life you want – and you'll actually thrive.'

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Lea Michele, Cory Monteith and Chris Colfer will not return for season four of hit show

They are easily the biggest stars on the cult hit show.

But that hasn't stopped Ryan Murphy from giving Lea Michele, Chris Colfer and Cory Monteith the chop from Glee.

The show creator revealed today that the three actors will graduate from William McKinley High School at the end of the next season.

Lea, 24, Chris, 21, and Cory, 29, 'are not going to be back at all for Season four,' Murphy told The Hollywood Reporter.

He explained: 'You can keep them on the show for six years and people will criticise you for not being realistic, or you can be really true to life and say when they started the show they were very clearly sophomores and they should graduate at the end of their senior year.'

Lea thanks fans for their support and backed up Murphy's reasons on Twitter today. She wrote: 'To Gleeks everywhere, you're in my heart now and forever. Love u all!!! This is just the beginning!!

'We always knew we'd graduate in real time. It's all part of the plan and it's all good! It's going to make Season 3 amazing!!!'

In the season finale of season two, Lea's character Rachel and Chris' character Kurt voiced their dreams of returning to New York to make it on Broadway.

Murphy said that season three, which premieres on September 20, will see the cast focus on what lies ahead of them after school and beyond the New Directions glee club.

'We made that decision and I involved Chris and Lea and they thought that was a good idea,' Murphy told the Hollywood Reporter. 'They both trust the writing and trust me and felt that it would be great to have an open and closed experience for them to go out while they were on top.'

But while Lea and Chris have been involved in their departure, it seems Cory might still be in the dark - until now.

Murphy revealed that he hadn't actually discussed his plans with the Canadian actor yet, but says: 'He knows he was a sophomore when the show started.'

The trio are not the only cast members to be leaving the show, but Murphy says fans will have to wait until season three to find out who else will be bidding William McKinley farewell.

Earlier this month it was revealed that Chord Overstreet will not be returning for season three of the show, while supporting cast members Darren Criss and Harry Shum had been awarded more airtime.

The cast are preparing to resume work after enjoying a short break after their Glee live tour of the UK and Ireland in June.

Lea will be promoting her new animated film Dorothy of OZ in coming months, while Cory recently completed work on the film Sisters & Brothers.

Colfer has signed on to comedy Struck By Lightning, which he will star in alongside Alison Janney. It is slated for release in 2012.

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Michael Sheen, kate Beckinsale and daughter their daughter Lily coordinated outfits for the Deathly Hallows premiere in Toronto

They make an incredibly handsome family.

Actor Michael Sheen, in a hip white suit, is complemented by beautiful Kate Beckinsale wearing a figure-hugging black dress, as their young daughter walks beside them.

Lily, 12 , even donned a cocktail gown which combined the hues of both parents' outfits to complete the look.

The adorable trio were all dressed up for the premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Two at the Scotia Theatre in Toronto yesterday.

But the image belied the truth behind this charming vignette, because Sheen, 42 , and 37-year-old Beckinsale split eight years ago.

Sheen, who is already at the top of his game and is about to make his mark on the Twilight saga as villainous Aro in Breaking Dawn Parts One and Two, is dating the equally luminous Rachel McAdams, 32.

The Queen star has been spending an increasing amount of time in the Canadian city, where the native Notebook star has her main home.

Earlier in the day, he enjoyed a romantic bike ride with the blonde in the surrounding countryside.

But he was able to join the other leading ladies in his life in the evening, as Beckinsale is filming a remake of Total Recall in Toronto.

It's being directed by her husband, Len Wiseman, 37 , who she met when he helmed vampire saga Underworld in 2003.

Beckinsale was a huge star on the ascendant at the time, while Sheen - who was also, rather awkwardly, in the movie - was merely a solid character actor.

But after the British actress, daughter of late Porridge star Richard, left Sheen, her career began to wither towards it's current moribund state.

Sheen, who has appeared in hit U.S. sitcom 30 Rock and played Tony Blair three times, has secured his place in the A-list pantheon.

The pair are no strangers to each other, maintaining a close relationship for the sake of Lily, but it is rare to see them at such a high profile event together - without their partners.

A cynic might suggest that this is Beckinsale's only chance to make a high profile arrival on a red carpet.

But the pair are so committed to raising their daughter together that such an observation would be churlish.

'I've been very lucky to have two marvellous men in Len and Michael, they've got no awkward feelings about parenting Lily and working things out,' Beckinsale told OK magazine.

And their daughter has bonded with her parents' significant others.

Lily, who is the spitting image of her mother, was pictured shopping with McAdams in L.A. recently, and is also close to Kate's husband Len Wiseman, who she has known since she was four.

McAdams and Sheen's relationship has been speeding ahead.

While they have been keen to keep their relationship under wraps it is clear that things are getting serious between the actors, who grew close during filming of their film Midnight In Paris.

Rachel has even had to deny rumours of an engagement, sparked when she was spotted wearing a ring on her wedding finger, and they were photographed looking affectionate on a Toronto subway recently.

Since sparking a romance on the set of the Woody Allen film in July the pair have quietly maintained a long distance relationship, but after they were spotted enjoying rendezvous in Toronto and Dublin their secret was out.

The pair have yet to comment on their relationship status but Sheen previously sang McAdams' praises to a Canadian TV show.

He told ET: 'Rachel is a genuinely lovely lady as well as being stunningly beautiful and very talented so, you know, she's got it all going on there'.

Rachel has previously dated her Notebook co-star Ryan Gosling, while Michael was in a relationship with dancer Lorraine Stewart for six years - they split last year.

Michael has revealed he found it 'difficult to cope' with his split from Kate after nine years together.

'For a while I thought I was going off the rails. Breaking up is a shock. It was a very unpleasant, painful time,' he said in 2009.

But the pair have mended their relationship and Kate told reporters previously that she was proud of their family dynamic.

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Candice Crawford and Tony Romo's over-the-top wedding video shows them reciting some personal vows under a giant awning

It was a lavish over-the-top ceremony complete with 600 guests, top notch security and a smattering of celebrities.

But nothing surely can quite compare to the rather cringe-making official wedding video of American footballer Tony Romo and Candice Crawford.

The video contains footage of the ceremony, which took place in Arlington Hall in Dallas back in May, and is strangely set to the mournful Coldplay song I Will Fix You.

The footage starts with Romo reciting some of his personal vows, written for Crawford, 24, a former beauty pageant queen and sister of Gossip Girl star Chace Crawford.

'I always dreamed of why my wife would be, what she would look like to what her personality would be,' he says at the alter, which was under a lavish leafy awning.

'And I'm standing with you right this moment, he adds to the tearful looking Crawford. 'I've never been so sure of anything in my life.'

The soundtrack plays over poignant shots of the bride and groom getting ready for the big day, with Crawford getting her makeup done, putting on a pair of towering crystal encrusted platform heels and looking wistfully into the distance

There is footage of the lavish marquee with place settings for the guests who included R&B singer Ashanti and Kim Kardashian's ex boyfriend Miles Austin.

The couple are also seen dancing slowly in front of a giant cake which almost reached the ceiling.

Romo wears a custom made Dolce & Gabbana white tuxedo and black trousers, while his bride, a local television personality wore a St Pucci gown in 100% pure silk duchess satin which she has described to Us Weekly magazine as 'a work of art.'

Crawford also had a staggering 15 bridesmaids who are seen getting rather excited in the video, one of them shrieking: 'Do you feel like a bride? You're getting married!'

Following the couple being declared man and wife, a snowstorm of white confetti is seen being released over the congregation

Romo, who previously dated Jessica Simpson, is believed to have proposed to Crawford on her 24th birthday and they have been together since the summer of 2009.

The bride later changes into a Badgley Mischka Couture cream silk cocktail dresses for the dancing, in which one of the groomsmen may be embarrassed to watch himself back trying out some rather odd looking moves.

The delighted couple then exit to the cheers of their guests and then drive away atop a vintage white Cadillac while a firework goes off in the distance.

The video rather bizarrely ends with the words 'Tony and Candice: Coming Soon.'

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Simon Cowell's sweater and sincere gaze echo the demeanour of Idol judge Jennifer Lopez in the spoof

Applauding and praising tuneless auditions, cosying up to fellow judges, driving an environmentally-friendly car and wearing a pink jumper - it all adds up to Simon Cowell's worst nightmare.

But there is a seam of reality in the first X Factor USA promo, because the crew are cheekily sending up Cowell's former U.S. show, American Idol.

The action opens in an audition room that looks suspiciously like the hotel room used in the hit show, and the panel of judges are dressed in pastel hues, a favourite palette of Jennifer Lopez.

An immediate focus on positivity is evident - which was the all pervading force of the last Idol series, even between the judges, thanks to the sardonic British producer's departure.

Simon, clad in cotton candy cashmere, leads the way by lavishing praise upon awful acts and holding hands with Paula Abdul, while all the judges make emotional gesticulations, like the Idol Panel.

But perhaps the most obvious dig is Paula Abdul's opening remark that the young girl who murders Tomorrow from the film Annie has 'spirit.'

It directly echoes an American Idol trailer which features Jennifer Lopez telling a contestant: 'I feel a spirit comes out of your voice.'

When Simon responds: 'I can't believe I'm going to say this, but that's exactly the word I was going to use, I love your spirit,' it's an echo of Aerosmith's Steve Tyler's effusive affirmations.

This is most definitely Simon Cowell setting out his stall, the promo implicitly promises that the X Factor USA will have the edge over all over other talent shows.

And as the X Factor is on Fox, the same network as Idol, it's a typically audacious piece of bombast from the celebrated producer.

The promo opens with Simon sitting with his fellow X Factor judges Paula Abdul, Nicole Scherzinger and L.A Reid, wearing a pink cable knit jumper.

A small girl then presents herself to them and starts to sing Tomorrow from Annie very badly.

But rather than cut her off after a couple of notes, Simon patiently waits for her to finish, claps and says, 'That's what I've been waiting for.'

Abdul, to Simon's left, praises the plucky child's spirit, and as the camera pans to the dream-breaker, there's a sharp intake of breath.

But woolly blush-sporting Simon says: 'I can't believe I'm going to say this, but that's exactly the word I was going to use, I love your spirit.'

A voiceover from Cowell goes on to say, against the backdrop of him meeting and greeting contestants: 'Let's face it, a year is a long time, we all change our attitudes and this is a different decade.'

As he continues with, 'It's a new decade, it's not about me anymore, it's about them', the video cuts to a man murdering Celtic classic Danny Boy with Simon shouting to him: 'I love you!'

The voiceover continues with Simon saying, 'I wanna make people's dreams come true. I even think about the environment', before it cuts to him getting into a Chevrolet Volt, a plug-in, hybrid car.

As he switches on the car radio, 'Tomorrow' blares out and a terrible cacophony of contestants singing engulfs him.

And in dream style fashion, the image wobbles before cutting to Cowell waking up in his penthouse apartment bedroom in a cold sweat.

He declares: 'Wow. What a horrible nightmare.'

The opening bars of Gun 'N' Roses's cover version of Wings' Live and Let Die then kicks in before Simon is seen speeding off in one of his ridiculously expensive sports cars as he smirks at the camera.

From then on in, it's all sharp tailoring, fast cars, helicopters and razor-sharp remarks.

We see our four judges emerge from a private jet looking like they mean business, and as the action scenes progress - a series of clips featuring Simon lambasting contestants and falling out with Abdul is interspersed.

He then smiles at the camera from behind his steering wheel and says: 'Well, what else did you expect?'

Simon said tonight of the promo: 'I sort of ‘dreamt’ the promo – seriously I did. I woke up and I can't remember whether it was a nightmare or a dream but I remember laughing when I woke up and I quickly wrote it down.

'I don’t know what’s been more fun, making the second half, the girls, the cars and the planes and all the excessive things, or faking the first part which was just so funny. Me sitting there in a pink sweater and LA in this weird pink shirt and we are sitting there trying to look enthusiastic about these singers - it was just one of the funniest days I’ve ever had in my life.

'The idea was what was the most inappropriate thing I could wear and it was either going to be pink or yellow - so we got all these sweaters and the pink one just stood out!

'We wanted to make something which showed what the show ‘could’ have been, my nightmare basically, then transitioning into what we really are and I thought it would be fun to make that.

'I literally really imagined my worst nightmare, and I put myself into that place and it was that.. Me, loving this song, Paula and I holding hands and I’m now turning into Paula everything is just... awful!. I just suspended my disbelief!'

The X Factor has it's two-Night Series premiere Wednesday, Sept. 21 at 8/7c and Thursday, Sept. 22 at 8/7c on FOX.

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Imogen Thomas' romantic LA date with Kim Kardashian's ex boyfriend Ray J

Welsh model Imogen Thomas has been on her first date since the scandal surrounding her alleged affair with Ryan Giggs - and her suitor was another controversial choice.

The 28-year-old was spotted cosying up to American rapper Ray J while on holiday in Los Angeles last week before she jetted back to the UK.

Ray J is best known for the sex tape he made with Kim Kardashian, whom he dated in 2007.

Imogen of course is no stranger to sex tapes herself having made one with a former boyfriend which also leaked onto the internet.

The former Big Brother contestant appeared to enjoy the date with the American reality television star as they drank champagne and took a spin in his smart Audi R8 convertible.

Imogen later said said: 'It was fun. Ray J is such a nice guy. He picked me up in his car and it was lovely, really amazing.'

The musician, who has released four albums, picked Imogen up from her Los Angeles hotel and the two were spotted strolling around, laughing and joking and looking very comfortable in each others company.

Like a pair of California teenagers, Ray J and Imogen hit the highway for a drive and then settled down to share a bottle of champagne and get cosy. At one point the apparently smitten Ray J rested his head on the former Big Brother contestant's shoulder.

Imogen ruled out anything romantic with the 30-year-old for the time being but said she hoped to meet up with Ray J again next time she's over in LA.

'He’s such a nice guy and we swapped numbers. It was good fun and I’m going to see him when I come back to LA', she said.

Ray J is also the first cousin of Snoop Dogg.

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Lindsay Lohan told a Miami reporter that she was disappointed that she didn't get a coveted role in Portman's hit film Black Swan

She hasn't been seen on the big screen for over a year, mostly due to her continuous legal woes and recent house arrest.

But it appears that Lindsay Lohan still thinks her acting chops are up to the standard of Oscar-winning actress' such as Natalie Portman.

The 25-year-old troubled actress, who was back at work today on the music video set for Miggs' 'Let the Games Begin' told a Miami reporter that she was disappointed that she didn't get a coveted role in Portman's hit film Black Swan.

The proclamation came during a recent photoshoot for Plum Miami magazine in Miami, which took place back in May before her house arrest.

Although Lindsay posed for the magazine, she refused to do an interview with the publication's writer Jacquelynn Powers, prompting the journalist to instead write an unflattering profile about Lindsay on the set of the shoot.

During her time in Miami, Lindsay claimed she 'took ballet until she was 19 and was indignant that she was not considered for the movie Black Swan,' Powers said.

And the Mean Girls star's diva antics didn't stop there.

According to Powers, Lohan was difficult from the word go.

When the actress arrived for the job, Powers witnessed her tell off a valet and using her 'name' so she didn't have to wait for other cars to move out of her way.

'As we pulled up to the Fontainebleau, a bright-orange parking cone was blocking the entrance. Not accustomed to waiting, apparently, she lowered the car's window and shouted "Move that cone. I'm Lindsay Lohan." And it was done,' revealed Powers.

She added of Lohan's attitude during the shoot: '(She was) constantly looking for drama, whether it was picking a fight with her younger sister...or freaking out over a lost pair of Zanotti heels.'

And the proof is in the pudding, it seems, in the form of a video of the shoot for Bravo's show Double Exposure.

In the clip, the actress is seen turning up late for the job, costing the magazine $100,000 for going into overtime.

As soon as she walks onto the set, Lohan, who is puffing away at a cigarette, heads straight to a window and says 'Can I open this?'

She then proceeds to struts over to some outfits laid out on the table, picking up a garment saying: 'This is Ungaro, I did this for Ungaro.' 

What she is referring to is her critically panned 2010 Autumn/Winter collection for French design house Emanuel Ungaro.

In order to placate the actress and stroke her ego, someone on the set then in turn says: 'Wow you are so talented.'

Throughout the photoshoot, a jittery Lohan is seen nervously laughing as she poses for the camera.

'There's so many people watching me right now,' she says.

And halfway through, when hairstylist attempts to touch up her hair, Lohan snaps, insisting that her hair must be kept down, prompting the actress to tell him off.

'It's my hair, not yours,' she snaps.

Then, when Lohan is asked to pose on a stripper pole, she inspects it, claiming that it is dirty.

After being handed a wet wipe by a male assistant, she proceeds to clean it, all whilst screwing up her face, finally hurling the dirty tissue back to the man.

Her strange behaviour even makes the photographer nervous.

'(She has) a dangerous element to her presence,' he says off to the side.

'You never know what's gonna happen in the next 2-1/2 seconds. Is she gonna bite you?' he asks.

Later as the crew gush over Lohan's sexy rock and roll poses, she is told by a woman: "Lindsay, you are the most beautiful woman in the world."

To which Lohan brashly replies: 'Tell Samantha that,' referring to her girlfriend, DJ Samantha Ronson.

Powers also revealed that during the shoot Lohan sipped on a glass of wine, all while talking frankly about being alcohol free.

And, even though Lohan failed to give her interview to the writer, she still refused to leave the expensive hotel that the magazine was footing the bill for her to stay in.

'Monday morning was supposed to be check-out time, but Lindsay and her posse refused to leave,' Powers wrote.

'It was like watching the lights come on at a nightclub after-hours -- not pretty.'

The legally troubled star, who spent 35 days under house arrest for a probation violation, has been very socially active since regaining her freedom, last month.

She celebrated her 25th birthday on the 2nd July by joining friends for a dinner out before spending two days relaxing on the beach in Malibu and celebrating Independence Day.

She was joined by ex-girlfriend Courtenay Semel who sat alongside her on the sand as they waited for a fireworks display to start.

Lindsay recently said she was looking forward to getting back to work following her lengthy legal battles.

In an interview conducted during her house arrest, she spoke about her upcoming role alongside John Travolta in mob boss movie GOTTI: In The Shadow Of My Father.

Talking about the role, Lindsay said: 'In October I’ll begin work. I hope to spend next year on set.'

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Kym Marsh has defended her right to work

Soap star Kym Marsh has angrily defended working mothers as she was criticised for going back to work after the birth of her baby Polly.

A Twitter user lambasted the actress, who is currently on maternity leave from Coronation Street, for filming an appearance on David Walliams' TV show Wall Of Fame.

Marsh, who struggled to bring up her two eldest children on benefits before finding fame in Hear'say, became a mother again to daughter Polly in March.

The 35-year-old ex-pop star was furious when a user 'Nickackland' labelled Marsh and This Morning presenter Holly Willoughby 'ridiculous' for working while being mothers.

He Tweeted: 'Doesn't know why celebs like @msm4rsh and @hollywills leave their babies for tv it's ridiculous.'

As she re-tweeted his comment for her 59,000 followers, she added: 'Erm... it's called work.'

She then replied directly to him and Willoughby, saying: 'It's called working.....or should we not be working when we have children?? How dare we provide for our kids! Idiot.'

Tweeting her mother Pauline, Marsh continued: 'Can you believe I'm being criticised for WORKING now!! Suppose I should rely on others to provide for my kids should I??! Ha x.

'Makes me laugh that some people think when u have children u should just stay chained to the house!!! We HAVE to work and NEED a life! Fools.'

After a follower pointed out some people on benefits don't have the option to work even if they wanted to, she replied: 'No I didn't mean it like that Hun. I have also been on that side of the coin but I am not gonna be criticised for going to work!

'I do just want to also say that there are people who can't go to work and I have been on that side too but I won't be criticised cos I do x.

'Hey guys I have lived on benefits too cos I couldn't get work that covered the cost of living with two small kids so I sympathise.'

Marsh is set to return to Coronation Street in the autumn after going on early maternity leave in January due to her complicated pregnancy with Polly - who arrived seven weeks early.

The actress was especially careful after her baby son Archie tragically died moments after birth in 2009.

Marsh has previously spoken about her struggle as a single mother with Emily, 13, and David, 16, when they were younger.

After splitting from their father Dave Cunliffe, Marsh moved into an ant-infested, rented terraced house, where she struggled to pay the bills.

She said last year: 'When I was a single parent it was hard. Sometimes I didn't have any money to put in the meter or buy the children toys, but you just have to keep going.'

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Jennifer Ellison battles Hollyoaks blondes on the red carpet as Legally Blonde musical comes to Liverpool

As the hit West End musical Legally Blonde came to Liverpool, it was only right that some of the city's most famous blondes made an appearance.

Jennifer Ellison joined a host of blonde Hollyoaks stars on the pink carpet for the opening night at the city's Empire theatre.

Former Brookside star Ellison, 28, toned in nicely with the pink carpet in a floor-length pink gown.

Leading the Hollyoaks crowd was pin-up Jorgie Porter, 23, who plays Theresa McQueen.

The petite actress went for a more casual look in cropped khakis and a fringed T-shirt, giviing it some extra glamour with a pair of towering heels.

Making more effort was her co-star Alice Barlow, who looked cute in a white mini dress.

Showing she can keep up with the younger members of the cast was former Bill actress Kim Tiddy, who plays Heidi Costello.

The 33-year-old showed off her fabulous legs in a leather mini-skirt as she hurried into the theatre for curtain up.

But it wasn't all blondes - one of Hollyoaks' brunette beauties Stephanie Davis - who found fame on Andrew Lloyd Webber's Over The Rainbow - arrived in a colourful floral number.

As well as the touring production, the London production will continue to run.

At the Laurence Olivier Awards earlier this year, the show was named Best New Musical, Best New Actress for Sheridan Smith and Best Supporting Actress for Jill Halfpenny.

The Liverpool production stars Faye Brookes as trainee lawyer Elle Woods with former Atomic Kitten singer Liz McClarnon playing divorced manicurist Paulette.

The show will run in Liverpool until Saturday before moving on.

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Nick Jonas introduces new love Delta Goodrem to his family at mother's birthday dinner

Nick Jonas romance with Delta Goodrem reached a new milestone last night after he introduced the Australian singer to his family.

The 18-year-old Jonas Brothers star took the 26-year-old along to his mother Denise's birthday celebration at LA restaurant, Villa Blanca.

Nick's older brother Kevin, 23, and his wife Danella also joined in the dinner at the celebrity haunt, which is owned by Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Vanderpump.

The pair left the establishment hand-in-hand, with Goodrem carrying a single red rose.

The blonde, a huge star in Australia with ambitions to break America, opted for a suitably demure pink dress with gold detailing and a cardigan.

he also wore flat gold sandals to avoid towering over her young beau.

She was first romantically linked to musician Jonas in May, shortly after her seven-year relationship with Irish singer Brian McFadden ended.

While Jonas has so far not directly commented on his new romance, he has said that he is 'in a really good place' and feels 'blessed'.

The teen hearthrob's rumoured former flames include Disney stars Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez.

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Rachel Royce hits back at her former husband Rod Liddle

After years as a serial philanderer, Rod Liddle, the newspaper columnist and former editor of Radio 4's Today programme, says he has discovered the joys of monogamy and marriage late in life with his second wife (and former mistress) Alicia.

Here, Rachel Royce, his furious first wife - whom he left four months after their wedding day - blasts back.

Dear Rod, there are days when I think you can cause me no more pain. After all, it’s seven years since you left me. Both of our lives have moved on.

But when I read reports yesterday of a radio interview in which you proclaim you have discovered the whole point of marriage, I’m ashamed to say it made me cry. Not just with sorrow, but with rage.

You said: ‘I have come to the point of view... that one of the things that is rather wonderful about monogamous marriage is the self- discipline imposed.’

Pity you didn’t hold that view when, just four months after our wedding, you walked out on me and our two children for your 22-year-old receptionist, Alicia — the woman who is  now your second wife and with whom you have a daughter.

Now let me be clear: I believe people should be entitled to learn from their mistakes. But to make this public proclamation, as if you are some sort of authority on the ethics and principles of marriage, would be comical were it not so sickening.

Even then, I could have coped with what many would call hypocrisy. But my fury finally boiled over when you said of our relationship: ‘I wasn’t particularly happy . . . and I met someone else. The failure was to have got married in the first place.’

How could you say such a thing? It’s as if you are trying to relinquish any responsibility for the years of misery you’ve caused me and our two children in the wake of our divorce.

Not only is your denigration of the love we shared humiliating for me, it would be so upsetting for the boys if they ever were to learn this is how you felt about their mother. Why do you feel the need to rewrite history in this spiteful way?

Since it seems to have slipped your mind, perhaps I should remind you that though we were married for only four months, we were together for 11 years and shared incredibly happy times together.

I still remember vividly the holiday in which we conceived our first child after five years as a couple. We had gone to Portugal to spend a few days together after the non-stop whirlwind of work. Back then, we were both covering the Labour landslide victory of 1997 — me as a TV journalist and you as a producer for Radio 4’s Today programme.

We went for a lovely walk and for the first time in my life I saw fireflies dancing. That night you asked me if I wanted a baby and I said: ‘Yes.’

Were you already being unfaithful to me when our relationship seemed so happy, so romantic, so filled with hope for the future? I will never know.

But as far as I am concerned, the ‘failure’ in our relationship was that your continual infidelities meant it never truly stood a chance. For what I do know is that Alicia certainly wasn’t the first time you strayed, as you have admitted yourself.

During a spat a couple of years ago, you let on that you’d had a long affair with a girl called Miranda very early on in our relationship. I hadn’t known about that.

Then there was Emma. After the birth of our second child, our relationship had plummeted into serious difficulty. Within weeks of moving to the countryside to give our family a better life, you started to spend night after night in London, leaving me alone with two babies.

That’s when you started telling me about this pretty girl, a junior on Today, whom you had taken out for dinner. When I challenged  you about her, you would claim that while obviously you fancied other pretty women, you wouldn’t actually do anything about it.

Can you for one moment try to make that great big brain of yours comprehend how that made me feel? I had moved 100 miles from my family and friends in London, with two children to look after, and you flippantly described taking this other woman out for dinner.

I felt vulnerable enough about my body — having given birth to your two children within 18 months — without you openly lusting after someone else.

I’m not sure why you did it, except that, like other men with great jobs, you could, couldn’t you? You had been promoted to editor of the Today Programme, a powerful job that made you more attractive to a certain kind of grasping woman.

You had always been attractive to me — from the moment we met on a night shift at the BBC in the early Nineties, with your punkish looks, intensely romantic nature and brilliant mind.

But as your career took off, you lost any notion of restraint. You left me and the children behind.

I remember crying when you came home in a new Dolce & Gabbana shirt Emma had bought you for Christmas. When I challenged you about it, you said I should be grateful she bought you clothes because it saved us money. And no, you still wouldn’t admit you were sleeping with her! Like a fool, I believed you.

It was only 18 months later that I found a text on your phone that read: ‘I hope you can sort your life out. I love you and want us to be together.’ I rang the number. It was Emma.

She told me you’d been living in London with her during the week and she had no idea we were still together.

When I asked her where she thought you were at the weekends, she told me you had said you were going home to see the children, but not me.

Rod, have you no comprehension or care for the hurt your double life caused both of us, even now that you realise the ‘point’ of monogamy?

Emma had the decency to drop you like a hot brick. I threw you out of  the house. But a week later, I allowed you back on the basis of the most amazing love letter you wrote to me — and because I loved you and wanted our relationship to work.

On our next holiday to Malaysia shortly after, you went down on  one knee and proposed to me during a thunderstorm.

I said ‘Yes’ and a year later we had a lavish wedding I hoped would mark the start of a marriage that would last . . . well, till death us do part. But just four months later came revelations of another betrayal.

I’d long worried about your relationship with Alicia, but it was only when I discovered Viagra in your jacket pocket that I felt bold enough to confront you both.

You claimed it was for experimental purposes, but she admitted you’d been having an affair for months. He’d even flown back early from our honeymoon to be with her.

Where was the ‘self-discipline’ instilled by marriage then? Where was the trust and commitment you now apparently see the wisdom of?

But if your comments this week, delivered to a national audience on Radio 5 Live, were hurtful about our marriage, they were doubly so when you describe becoming a parent.

You said: ‘Couples marry and have children too quickly.’ Do you mean we shouldn’t have had our two darling children? That we were too young? Need I remind you I was 36 when I had our first child — how could that be construed as too early? I’d have been lucky to  have children at all if we’d left it any longer.

I know many couples get divorced and, sadly, it’s a part of life. Normally, though, there is some sense of contrition on the part of the unfaithful spouse. But I feel you’ve ignored the misery and trauma you caused me and our children.

I know I am ashamed of the distress I caused our sons in the wake of our divorce. Traumatised by your betrayal, I flung myself into a couple of unsuitable relationships in quick succession.

Meanwhile, you were taking your young mistress on expensive holidays, spending £30,000 to impress her and not seeing our sons for weeks on end.

The boys went through a terrible time with a mother who would burst into tears and shout at them sometimes with stress.

I remember one occasion coming home after a particularly long shift at ITV and our youngest son saying: ‘Why can’t you be at home like other mummies?’

I shouted at him: ‘Why don’t you ask your father? Alicia doesn’t have to work.’

Shortly after I went to the doctor and was prescribed Prozac. But nothing could take away the pain of trying to juggle full-time work with caring for our children — all the while aware that a much younger woman was reaping the benefits of your ascent up the career ladder.

Our youngest went through a stage of going around the house looking for any coins he could find, bringing them to me and saying: ‘Now can you stay at home with me?’

Yes, you have always paid maintenance and you see the boys every other weekend. But I’m the one who has to attend sports days and parents’ evenings alone.

And now these hurtful comments.

Of course, in one sense I can understand why you have changed your mind about monogamy: older men often wise up when they fear they are losing their looks and they have a half-attractive, younger wife on their arm.

But denying the validity of an 11-year relationship that produced two children is just plain cruel.

I still believe that if you had been monogamous for even a year we might have stood a chance of making it and our boys wouldn’t  be the victims of a broken  home with all the disruption  and emotional and educational disadvantage that brings.

You couldn’t keep it in your trousers when we were together, but now you can. Well, congratulations!

For the sake of your daughter, our boys’ half-sister, I hope you truly are the leopard that has changed its spots.

Or is it just that the Viagra has stopped working?

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Six children... six years together... finally Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are set 'to wed'

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are set to tie the knot for the sake of their six children, according to reports in the U.S.

After six years together and six children, Hollywood’s most glamorous couple are said to be planning an ‘intimate and informal’ wedding in the South of France.

The ceremony would be very different from the lavish £600,000 nuptials when Pitt wed ‘Friends’ star Jennifer Aniston in 2000.

US Weekly magazine says the ‘I do’s’ could take place at their recently-renovated Chateau Miravel mansion in Correns, France, which has privacy gates and its own 16th century chapel.

It is hardly the first report of impending nuptials between the superstars.

Previous claims that they were getting hitched in India, the Seychelle Islands and New Orleans all proved to be false.

But the magazine insisted yesterday that three separate sources confirmed there would be a summer wedding ‘within the next few months’

Up to now, Jolie, 36, and Pitt, 47, have defied convention, saying they will only consider marriage when it is legal for everyone, gay or straight.

But the Tree Of Life actor hinted they were changing their minds in an interview earlier this year.

'The kids ask about marriage,' he said. 'It’s meaning more and more to them. So it’s something we’ve got to look at.'

In another report a fortnight ago, In Touch magazine also claimed the couple were preparing for a ‘secret wedding’ in France after their children pushed them to make their long-term relationship official.

The magazine claimed Jolie would be wearing a L’Wren Scott gown and her brother, James Haven, would officiate at the ceremony.

Both publications said the couple was bowing to the wishes of children Maddox, nine, Pax, seven, Zahara, six, Shiloh, five and twins Vivienne and Know, who are now three.

There was no comment on the marriage plans yesterday from the couple.

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Lucy lost four stone after dieting but admits keeping the weight off is a constant battle

Three years ago, I was fat. I really was. I was a roly-poly great big lump of lard. I weighed 14st 4lb, far too much for my 5ft 8in frame. I’d go into High Street stores and despair that no clothes fitted me.

I’d stand in front of the mirror and stare in horror at my increasing curves. I didn’t just look fat — I looked as if I was about to give birth. It was so bad that people got up for me on trains.

A woman in a restaurant even came up and congratulated me on my pregnancy. ‘Not long now,’ she said encouragingly. I sat there, burning with shame and close to tears.

That’s what really did it. I decided then and there that I couldn’t bear being fat any more.

Like former Birds Of A Feather star Pauline Quirke, who this week revealed her new svelte figure after losing more than six stone, I decided there was only one thing for it. The excess baggage had to go.

Quirke lost her weight on the LighterLife diet — a drastic regime that requires women to eat no more than 500 calories a day. I lost four stone with WeightWatchers, which offers a less drastic approach. But we both achieved the same result, losing 30 per cent of our total body weight.

I am now — after three years of dieting and being extremely careful about what I eat — a healthy and light 10st 3lb. Every time I climb on the scales, I want to do a dance of pure joy. For the first time in 15 years, I’m slim. In fact, I’m actually lighter than I was in my early 20s.

Yet proud as I am, something crucial and unexpected has changed. It’s not only my body shape that has been transformed, but my personality, too.

It’s as if I have morphed into a different person on the inside, as well as outside.

From being a laid-back type, happy to eat, drink, be merry and have endless parties, I’ve become a rampant control freak.

Instead of cooking or spending time with my husband, I’m either doing stomach crunches in the sitting room or talking about how guilty I feel that I’ve eaten too much. I am, in short, a bore. I have that nervous energy I always used to associate with thin people.

I can’t sit down (if I sit, I might be tempted to eat). I won’t go out for dinner. I won’t let my husband cook for me in case he sneaks fat into things. I feel so sorry for him.

He used to show he loved me by cooking for the family. Now, he just stands there looking like someone’s chopped his arms off. He’s like a forlorn mother bird, desperate to feed me, but not knowing how to.

My lack of eating has probably done untold damage to our relationship. How do you relax with your loved one if she won’t eat or drink?

If we do go out for dinner, I spend so long worrying about what to consume that I’m surprised he doesn’t get up and leave.

I think he preferred me when I was a bit curvier, but he does like the new me. He says ‘gosh you’re tiny’ in an admiring voice, but he definitely misses the intimacy we had when we ate together.

Now, he comes in from work and cooks himself a stir-fry and then eats it on his own. He then opens a bottle of wine and pours himself a glass. Meanwhile, I’m on the camomile tea and a slice of cucumber.

It’s a lonely life on both sides!

It’s not helped my relationship with my friends, either. Some of them (the thin ones) are delighted and encouraging. Others (the foodies) are appalled.

When I go round to their houses and refuse pasta smothered in parmesan, chicken cooked in cream, and gateau, I know I am hurting their feelings. It gets worse when I wave away the wine, the brandy and even the glasses of fizz.

‘You used to be such fun!’ they say, giving my husband sympathetic looks. ‘Yes, I was fun, but I was also fat,’ is my retort.

I have also turned into a terrible, judgmental fat-ist. Every time I see someone who is overweight, I want to scream at them: ‘Go on a diet!’

I have friends who drive me so mad with their overeating that I want to tape their mouths shut. Recently, I fell out with a friend when I commented rather acerbically on why she was eating an entire bar of chocolate for her pudding. We haven’t spoken since.

But now I’m thin, I can’t bear fat people’s lack of self-control, their gluttony, their inability to see what harm they are doing to themselves. I’m like one of those TV evangelists.

If I see someone about to munch down one of those huge baguettes filled with brie, I feel like screaming. The sight of a chocolate muffin can bring me out in hives. I feel it’s my duty to explain constantly to everyone how much better I feel now I am thin.

Do I look better? Of course I do! It’s certainly true that people — particularly men — like you more when you are thin. I am sure some of my friends miss the old me, but I don’t.

I don’t want to be bovine, chewing the cud and watching the world go by. I want to be able to move and run and not be weighed down. If my friends don’t like me this way, then tough.

I also get congratulated on how much weight I have lost. People seem so proud of me. ‘You look great,’ is the refrain, ‘and so thin!’

I feel younger, sexier, more agile, more attractive, more powerful — and less paranoid and self-hating.

But, despite it all, there lurks this dark side to being thin, as I am sure Pauline Quirke will discover. There’s a tyranny involved in keeping slim, for in every former-fat person, there is still a fatty waiting to get out again.

I adore cake, biscuits and ice cream, so I find it hard to have anything sweet in the house.

I tend to buy biscuits for the children and the occasional packet of crisps, but I always try to get the flavours I don’t like. If I do, in a moment of weakness, buy a tub of Ben & Jerry’s, I’ll eat the whole lot in one go. Then I’ll feel so sick and full of remorse that I want to kill myself.

I also spend endless hours obsessing about food, dreaming up all the delicious dishes I could eat. To avoid this, I chew on a couple of prawns — no dressing — hoping that my hunger pangs will go away.

Even my dreams have changed. I used to be a good sleeper. Now, I have recurring nightmares in which I’ve eaten so much that I’ve put all the weight back on again.

There are days when all I want to do is eat biscuits. There are days when all I actually do is eat biscuits. But then there’s the terrible guilt afterwards. It’s almost unbearable.

I’ve become the sort of woman who apologises for eating a square of chocolate.

To offset this occasional secret biscuit-eating, I exercise like a fanatic.

I do yoga for an hour or more every day. I walk for an hour-and-a-half. I run and swim and take a boxercise class. If I miss any activity, I beat myself up about it and do extra the next day.

But it’s not all terrible! Honestly. It’s great to feel fitter. It’s wonderful to look better. If I could just stop being quite so paranoid and be more accepting of others and just relax, life would be perfect!

Oh, be forewarned Pauline. Thinness is a psychological battlefield. It really, really is. 

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